Some people may admire Charlie for livin' the dream: tons of money, a hooker-house down the block so he can have his fun and not have to make conversation the next morning over breakfast, indulgent bosses, rehab at home, and a support staff of hangers-on and toadies quick to tell him that he's the man. Well, the dream's a bit tarnished today. The main contributing factor? Sheen is raving nuts:

But it's not over yet. You think this is over? It's just beginning. After he found the sharpest crayon in the house, Sheen sat down and wrote a letter, possibly decorating the margins with stick-figure ninjas. Then he gave the letter to TMZ, knowing they would release it into the wild. It read in part:

"Wind up in my octagon"? Wow. If that makes no sense to you, it's because you're not as mentally evolved as Charlie Sheen, super-genius. He cured himself of his problems with sheer mental brilliance. He didn't think he had any problems but he made them go away anyway. That's a level of intelligence you cannot hope to understand. TMZ notes that the interview with conspiracy-enthusiast Alex Jones included these gems:

AP notes that he had a softer side in the interview:

Uh huh. Yes, of course, Charlie. That's deep. It's so deep Thomas Jefferson would just stand there with his mouth hanging open. Deadline reminds us what movies he might be sitting in the dark watching every night:

Sorry, Charlie. You have that backwards. I know we're supposed to think it's wrong to judge someone, because that would be, well, judgmental. Or at least we're supposed to make sad tut-tut faces about your disease. But everyone's judging you now. Including the people who produce movies and have to take out completion bonds to ensure no one loses all their money when the star of "Major League 4" is arrested for being naked on a hotel balcony with a chain saw, screaming that he can carve planets up with his mind.